{"id":10368,"date":"2017-02-09T13:12:13","date_gmt":"2017-02-09T21:12:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/?p=10368"},"modified":"2017-11-18T15:57:44","modified_gmt":"2017-11-18T23:57:44","slug":"walking-with-my-mentor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/healthcare\/recovery-co-lab\/recovery-co-lab-blogs\/pwi-co-lab-staff\/walking-with-my-mentor\/","title":{"rendered":"Walking with My Mentor"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>Opening Insights: Anger Uncovered<\/h2>\n<p>\r\n\t<style>\r\n.rTable {    \r\ndisplay: table;    \r\nwidth: 100%; \r\n} \r\n\r\n.rTableRow {    \r\ndisplay: table-row; \r\n} \r\n\r\n.rTableHead {    \r\ndisplay: table-header-group;  \r\nwidth: 50%;\r\nbackground-color: #ddd;  \r\nfont-weight: bold; \r\ntext-align: center; \r\n} \r\n\r\n.rTableCell, .rTableHead {    \r\ndisplay: table-cell;    \r\npadding: 3px 10px;  \r\nfont-size: 12px; \r\n\twidth: 50%;\r\nborder: 1px solid #FFFFFF; \r\n} \r\n\r\n.rTableFoot {    \r\ndisplay: table-footer-group; \r\nwidth: 100%; \r\nfont-weight: bold; \r\ntext-align: center;  \r\nbackground-color: #ddd; \r\n} \r\n\r\n.rTableBody.Bold {    \r\ndisplay: table-cell; \r\nfont-weight: bold; \r\ntext-align: center;  \r\n}\r\n\t\t\r\n.rTableBody.Italic {    \r\ndisplay: table-row-group; \r\nfont-style: italic;\r\n}\r\n\r\n<\/style>\r\n<br \/>\nI had a very powerful discussion with my mentor, Richard, today.<\/p>\n<p>In the last week I&#8217;ve been experiencing anger rising to the surface and I don&#8217;t know where it&#8217;s coming from.\u00a0 Initially, I thought it was a reaction of mine to a few statements by others. However, Richard helped me realize that I hadn&#8217;t asked for clarification at the time but instead had let others continue speaking. This was a decision to stay angry instead of seeking resolution.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Richard helped me realize that I hadn&#8217;t asked for clarification at the time but instead had let others continue speaking. This was a decision to stay angry instead of seeking resolution.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I learned, right then and there, a very useful tool that can be used in diagnosing the source of anger. <strong>As it was not a result of something that had happened in the moment, it must be something that has been buried.<\/strong> From a few weeks, to a few years&#8230; I don&#8217;t know. And I don&#8217;t like not knowing.<\/p>\n<h2>Informational Insights: Seek to Discover, Not Be Told<\/h2>\n<p>It\u00a0was last week, when this reality of anger became a known concern. This week, we dove a bit deeper into it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I WANTED\u00a0to just be told what the source of the resentment was.<\/strong> Richard, being very good at what he does (coach and mentor), wasn&#8217;t going to play my game. He wasn&#8217;t going to do the work for me. Instead, he was going to help me learn. <em>I&#8217;m fairly confident that in time I will appreciate this, but it can be quite frustrating in the present.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Richard shared with me a few experiences from his past. Ranging from the ages of a young boy, to adolescence, then early adulthood, and finally up through the present. I learned a number of things in listening to my mentor share these experiences from his life:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>When we have made decisions\/hold beliefs that either were never true or are no longer true:<\/strong>\n<ul>\n<li>We may not have had all the information at the time.<\/li>\n<li>We may not have had a healthy and mature thinking process developed at the time.<\/li>\n<li>We may not have revisited these beliefs recently to verify whether or not they still hold true or if something has changed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li><strong>Regardless of the reason(s) the decisions we&#8217;ve made, and the beliefs we&#8217;ve held, still have a profound impact on our lives today.<\/strong>\n<ul>\n<li>The effects manifest themselves in our lives daily and occur without our recognition of them<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>For Richard, it took decades to learn this on his own.<strong> I am fortunate enough to have someone to teach me what he learned by himself.<\/strong> I don&#8217;t have to spend years on end making mistakes before I learn from them. Granted, I&#8217;ll always find ways to make mistakes but I hope the severity of them, as well as their frequency decrease over time.<\/li>\n<li><strong>There is no denying:<\/strong>\n<ul>\n<li>I am angry about something.<\/li>\n<li>Latent anger and resentment, is finding excuses to manifest itself towards others today.<\/li>\n<li>I have no idea what it is about.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>As is likely the case for many people, I do not like being confronted with something I don&#8217;t know. <strong>Not having an answer is unsettling because then I must look to others for help and the ego doesn&#8217;t enjoy that.<\/strong> When it comes to personal matters, the issue becomes all the more sensitive and private.<\/p>\n<h3>Letting Go and Learning to Trust<\/h3>\n<p>Today, I got to not only hear of someone who has been through the same challenges I now face but <strong>I had the privilege to be able to share my concerns, the fear of the unknown, with someone who understands.<\/strong> Even having known Richard for years now, I am still quite hesitant to share these types of problems.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to trust, all I can say is that trusting is not an accurate way to describe me. I fear judgement, ridicule, and vulnerability. A friend of mine and Richard were talking today and I heard something that was very profound: <strong>Trust is not something you learn. It is something you do.<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Trust is not something you learn. It is something you do.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I believe that to be a very accurate statement. Thinking on it, I find myself adding the sentiment:<em>&#8220;but you can learn who to trust?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Basically, what this boils down to is learning to be aware of others. Understanding them and being observant of them. <strong>Only you can decide who you will trust and with what, but there are things you can learn to make such discernment&#8217;s.<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>Only you can decide who you will trust and with what, but there are things you can learn to make such discernment&#8217;s.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<h3>Building Value and Identity<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Today, I chose to trust Richard with my fears<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>This decision was not a result of following orders or some kind of brainwashing. It was from years of experience in working with the man and getting to know him; and vice versa. And what I received was understanding and compassion instead of judgment.<\/p>\n<p>As a result, we&#8217;ve opened a door into looking into the past with a willingness to learn, grow, and improve. It&#8217;s not to get stuck there on mistakes we&#8217;ve made or that others have made but to assess and learn, this time with a more mature thinking process, to resolve long-buried problems and keep them from constantly lashing out and derailing opportunities that present themselves in the present.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"tab-stops: 2.5in;\">Possibilities for Consideration: My Experience<\/h2>\n<p>To summarize, I&#8217;d like to highlight a few important points from my experience.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The greatest source of information, wisdom, and insight that can be unlocked is first found through an awareness and acceptance of whatever it is that you don&#8217;t know. <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Second, so much value has been lost and will be lost if you continue on your own. <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Additional perspectives, experiences of others, groups of people you can trust are exponentially more valuable than a solid comfortableness of flying solo.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Take a moment and examine\u2026<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>As you reviewed the material above, what stood out to you?<\/li>\n<li>What is the potential impact, economically and\/or socially?<\/li>\n<li>What action is needed to stop or support this idea?<\/li>\n<li>You may want to consider whether you:\n<ul>\n<li>want to be <em>aware<\/em> of,<\/li>\n<li>should become <em>supportive<\/em> of,<\/li>\n<li>would want to be <em>active<\/em> in this topic?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Add Your Insight: Your Experience<\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply.<\/em><em><br \/>\n<\/em><em>Being willing is not enough; we must do.<\/em><em><br \/>\n<\/em>LEONARDO DA VINCI<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>Opening Insights: Anger Uncovered I had a very powerful discussion with my mentor, Richard, today. In the last week I&#8217;ve been experiencing anger rising to the surface and I don&#8217;t know where it&#8217;s coming from.\u00a0 <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/healthcare\/recovery-co-lab\/recovery-co-lab-blogs\/pwi-co-lab-staff\/walking-with-my-mentor\/\" title=\"Walking with My Mentor\">[&#8230;]<\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":10373,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[201,81,80],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emod-blog","category-discovery-co-lab-blogs","category-recovery-co-lab-blogs"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-content\/uploads\/people\/pexels-photo-medium-12-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10368"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16750,"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10368\/revisions\/16750"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10373"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pocketwisdominsights.com\/pwicolab\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}