Opening Insights
Written by Alexander Burgemeester
Narcissists are characterized by their extreme selfishness, lack of empathy, and craving for admiration which they get through status and power. With grandiose thinking and arrogance, they demand that others treat them as special or superior.
There are degrees of narcissism, ranging from excessive self-importance to full-fledged narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). We all enjoy praise and admiration on occasion, but narcissists don’t enjoy occasional admiration- they crave admiration all the time (as can be had through status, power and money) almost like an addiction. To obtain the status that they seek, they will exaggerate or misrepresent their talents and accomplishments. They may even lie and cheat in order to get promotions, win races, or seduce people.
Narcissists are preoccupied with self-aggrandizement to sharpen public opinion of their image. They fantasize about, and seek out, power, fame, status and money; they are envious of others who have plenty of these resources.
Informational Insights: Money as Love
According To Sam Vaknin, author and expert on NPD, money is another word for love in the narcissist’s emotional vocabulary. Having been deprived of love early on in the narcissist’s childhood, he constantly seeks love substitutes. To him, money is the ultimate love substitute. Dr. Vaknin states that all the qualities of the narcissist are manifested in his relationship with money, and in his attitude towards it. For example, due to his sense of entitlement he feels that he is entitled to other people’s money.
Secondly, his grandiose thinking leads him to believe that he should have, or does have, more money than he actually possesses. This leads to reckless spending, to pathological gambling, to substance abuse, or to compulsive shopping.
Third, narcissists engage in magical thinking which leads to irresponsible, shortsighted behavior for which they believe they are immune from the results of that behavior. They descend into debt, commit financial crimes, and hassle people- including their closest relatives.
Furthermore, their fantasies lead them to believe in their fabricated financial “facts” which are not commensurate with their talents, qualifications, jobs, and resources. They pretend to be richer than they are or pretend to be capable of becoming rich if they so desire. They are greedy but have an ambivalent, love-hate relationship with money. They can be mean, stingy, and calculating with their own money yet an eager spendthrift with other people’s money. They live lavishly and often well above their means. It is not uncommon for narcissists to go bankrupt and ruin their businesses.
Lastly, reality is distorted and does not match their grandiose fantasies. Nowhere is the grandiosity gap more evident than where money is involved.
….Having an abundance of money makes them feel more entitled and superior to others.
Moneyed narcissists are always looking down on the working class. They don’t seek knowledge, wisdom, inner peace or insight. They seek to achieve their greatest goal-being able to have whatever they desire as well as attracting other people whom they can easily exploit to satisfy their money cravings. A too common situation is for a narcissistic sibling, male or female, to ingratiate the mother or father who is holding the wealth- to become their confidante, their favored and trusted one. This is done over many years and is a well planned scheme.This sibling invariably becomes the executor of the parent’s sizable will and convinces the mother or father to bestow upon them the largest amount of the inheritance (leaving the other siblings with a minute portion of the total). He has no conscience and is just waiting for the parent’s death so that he can inherit the entire estate and lead a life of pleasure and comfort. The greedy, narcissistic sibling may even abandon his own children and spouse to move on to a life of luxury. He or she will not look back and view the psychological and monetary destruction they have left behind; they don’t worry about others. After they have their inheritance, they still feel the lust for money; some pursue other unethical, and often illegal, ventures to scam others.
For example, they may form romantic relationships that will allow them to gain psychological and monetary control of another victim. The desire to have more money never diminishes. The narcissist will not stop victimizing others i.e. disrupting their lives, leaving them without monetary means, and causing them unbearable distress and worry.
Author by Alexander Burgemeester
Alex Graduated in Neuro-Psychology at the University of Amsterdam. He worked a few years in a nursing home where he specialized himself in neurodegenerative disorders (alzheimer, parkinson), Personality Disorders and Emotional disorders (depression). Now he specializes in sharing his knowledge on public websites. View all posts by Alexander Burgemeester »
Possibilities for Consideration
Take a moment and examine…
- As you reviewed the material above, what stood out to you?
- What is the potential impact, economically and/or socially?
- What action is needed to stop or support this idea?
- You may want to consider whether you:
- want to be aware of,
- should become supportive of,
- would want to be active in this topic?
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I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Being willing is not enough; we must do.
LEONARDO DA VINCI