Opening Insights: Examples of Transference
In an attempt to demystify transference, here are some very simple examples:
- You meet someone at a party who reminds you of your favorite aunt and you find yourself feeling warmly towards this new acquaintance.
- You have difficulty depending on others, as a result you may find yourself feeling and acting resentful, jealous, or angry towards your coach/sponsor/teacher/counselor (person [or people] trying to be of support) without realizing that there is a connection between these feelings and the coach’s/sponsor’s/teacher’s/counselor’s upcoming surgery/vacation etc.
- You may fear disapproval and rejection and notice that you suddenly find yourself worried about judgment or criticism from others when:
- You get feedback on tasks
- You start to talk about a certain topic
- You feel a particular feeling / emotion
- You may be a perpetually single person prone to distrusting people and begin to view your coach/sponsor/teacher/counselor with suspicion as your relationship deepens.
- You may struggle with anger and hostility and find yourself similarly struggling with anger and hostility toward your coach/sponsor/teacher/counselor.
- Your coach/sponsor/teacher/counselor may say something that reminds you of something your mother or father said that hurt you [emotionally] when you were younger and you find yourself and acting resentful, jealous, or angry towards your coach/sponsor/teacher .[1]
Is Transference Easy to Notice?
It depends. Of note, these are emotional experiences that a person feels in response to the therapist but likely won’t be able to immediately explain or understand. Generally the roots of these responses are not fully conscious. The idea is that a client can begin to see how their mind works in the unique relationship with the therapist, a relationship that is purposefully structured to make the client’s psychology more apparent and a topic of exploration. Noticing, exploring and working through these emotional experiences in relationship with the therapist is a powerful mechanism of growth. [1]
Informational Insights: Transference and Narcissism
Transference can be helpful, however, it can also be harmful. When the 4 Absolutes are lacking in ones perception of reality and life, narcissism can create a (conscious and / or automatic) transference of unresolved emotional issues. This occurs for most people. It is the reason why we so often find ourselves in the “same relationships” with different people – trying to resolve and deal with issues from the past.
What does the narcissistic transference look like? Spotnitz (1976a, p. 109) states that:
“On the surface it looks positive. He builds up this attitude: ‘You are like me so I like you. You spend time with me and try to understand me, and I love you for it.’ Underneath the sweet crust, however, one gets transient glimpses of the opposite attitude: ‘I hate you as I hate myself. But when I feel like hating you, I try to hate myself instead.”
Spotnitz (1985, p. 201) describes the result when the narcissistic transference is successfully developed:
“(w)hen one focuses on the narcissistic patterns and works consistently to help the patient verbalize frustration-tension, object transference phenomena become increasingly prominent… Eventually, the patient’s transferences are aroused by his emotional perceptions of the therapist as a parental transference figure.”
In other words, personality maturation takes place. [2]
Source:
[1] //www.cbtvspsychodynamic.com/transferenceexamples.html
[2] //modernpsychoanalysis.blogspot.co.uk/2007/02/narcissistic-transference.html
Possibilities for Consideration
Take a moment and examine…
- As you reviewed the material above, what stood out to you?
- What is the potential impact, economically and/or socially?
- What action is needed to stop or support this idea?
- You may want to consider whether you:
- want to be aware of,
- should become supportive of,
- would want to be active in this topic?
Add Your Insight
I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Being willing is not enough; we must do.
LEONARDO DA VINCI